You can choose your time. We can't judge that from a distance. You have the best feel for how things are going. When you say the stuff above, you can also bring up the part about how she needs to be nicer to you if she is staying married. Speak to you AT LEAST as well as she would speak to a stranger -- hello, goodbye, thank you, etc. You are a person, not her servant! You need to consider if you want to be in a relationship with someone who treats you poorly.
