Well, she can't love the house *that* much if she is willing to keep it on the market despite the fact an alternate solution has been put in place (loan modification that as per your post is doable). Why aren't you living in the house?
If you can swing it keep the house. If you almost lost the house last year I would guess there is little to no equity in it therefore there is nothing for you to have to "buy out" from her. If she wants the proceeds from the house let her wait until you are ready to sell it.
You seem like a nice guy and I know this is tough but IMO you are coming across as very soft and weak. Couples have financial problems and if your W couldn't handle it, well, chances are as other major life problems come up she would behave in a a like manner. She chose to walk away. Her choice but why would you give up a house simply because it causes her stress?
Like you said... if your W wanted to me in the marriage where you live would not be an issue. Keep the house if you can and let her see you are making choices for you that no longer include her desires.
