Thanks guys, I really appreciate your care and concern.
It's been really hard to accept that this relationship is over. It's doubly hard because he is my best friend too, and I don't have a lot of other friends since I'm sort of new in town.
I have had passing moments of acceptance, strength and optimism about my future, but the longing, hurt and concern for him keeps coming back every morning and night.
He slept somewhere else last night (the night after I got in his bed). I feel guilty because I have invaded his space and privacy. He retreats to one little room in this house and I find myself in there constantly when he's gone (the computer is in there, that's my excuse.) That's not fair to him either.
I feel like such a creep. I obsess about where he is, who he's talking to, if he thinks about me, misses me. I wonder still about this female friend of his and find myself driven to "find something," some evidence that the relationship is more than he says it is.
I just need to move out as soon as I can. I know I'll feel better afterward, but moving is going to be a very difficult, painful mountain to climb.
I just hope we can be friends after all this passes. He said he wants to be my friend and the sooner the better. I told him I didn't know if I could ever be friends, but perhaps that's something I can have to look forward to.
Oh, one more thing, my best girlfriend who has been so supportive through all this is also moving away in two weeks, which is before I'll be able to move, so I'm really feeling overwhelmed by the challenges ahead of me and not having her support as I get thorugh it.
