James, you certainly have realized by now that ALL WAS will blame, blame and blame some more. Not to mention your WAS is a special breed as she has some very serious problems. I don't think she is bipolar at all (and my sister is bipolar, very well managed for the past decade so I do have lots of experience with bipolar individuals).
Until you really stop obsessing over your W and what she did in the past and what she blames you for your life will never change.
Your W has cheated multiple times, has proven her parenting skills are not what they should be, is immature, has chosen not to address her emotional problems in the proper way and clearly has no ability to take accountability for her bad choices. NC will not change any of that about her.
If you don't start rebuilding your life (and yes, it is hard and yes, even harder when you have medical issues which I am also familiar with) you will be stuck at your parents house forever.
