What to do when their friends suggest leaving?

[Bummedout]

Hey CG,
I haven't lumped everyone together.

And I come across as "terribly defensive" because some of these folks were "terribly offensive." In actuality I'm not really defensive. I tried to make it clear what I was looking for. A few folks here decided that I had to play their game. When that didn't go so well, they went on the defensive . . .kinda sucked at it, so they just tucked tail.

Sadly, a number of otherwise more reasonable people followed them like puppies. You are one of the few exceptions.

As for "a majority" of folks assuming not attempting to mitigate damage caused by poor advice is best, that's not really an accurate assessment. More accurately, a few of the self -proclaimed experts have determined that, and quite incorrectly in my experience.

What I fund curious, and you do this too CG, inadvertent or not, is that some of the "experts" here repeatedly misrepresent and often outright distort my position. And I keep calling ya'll on it . . .and you keep doing it.

Here's the deal: Ya'll were dead wrong, and it worries me a bit that ya'll clearly have no intention of even acknowledging it.

Here is a "common sense" assessment of the intent of my thread.

Sometimes, there may very well BE "Nothing" we can do about poor advice from friends and relatives. This is likely a minority of the time. In the majority of situations though, even if not necessarily a large majority, there are probably "little things" we can do to help at least minimize the damage.

This observation really shouldn't be even remotely controversial . . .it's 100% pure common sense. The idea that there is "nothing we can about that" is . . . well . . . stupid, short-sighted, and naive.

But, people like Coach, Robx and a few others have been telling folks this and putting it out there like it's an absolute: "Ther is nothing you can do about it, so forget about it and move on to other things you have control over" is the general gist of it.

And THAT is BAD advice. And it truly is a shame that a few folks here absolutely butchered this thread in their unwarranted, imbicilic, ego-driven, petty attempts to 'beat me into their way of thinking.'

The reality is that a discussion about things we can do, say, etc. that might help minimise, even a little,t he substantial damage this causes to our efforts to save our marriage, could have been helpful.

Instead, many of ya'll keep wanting to assess my character, take petty jabs, accuse me of things you're guilty of yourselves, ignore me, etc.

It was a worthy topic, worthy of discussion, that could have been helpful . . . but ya'll turned it into an off topic battle.

I truly don't appreciate that, and again . . . . a number of the "regular posters" here should truly be ashamed of themselves.

To be honest CG, you keep doing the same crap, just wilth less vitriol. An example:

To me:
"What I would gently suggest to you is to dedicate yourself to making "small shifts" that create positive momentum. Self evaluation doesn't mean there is something fundamentally wrong with you, it means you have a desire to keep growing and improving as a person. I don't know a person in the world that can't benefit from self evaluation and self improvement."

I didn't ask for that. For one thing, I'm SO far out ahead of you on that. I've made "small shifts" . . .if you truly followed the thread you would know this. And there is nothing fundamentally wrong with me, I already know that. There is always room for improvement too, I'm also aware of that.

What does that have to do with the topic of this thread?
This is exactly what I'm talking about.