I read that your H is still deep within the tunnel. He is making no sense whatsoever. This is classic MLC.
Why did you mention to your H that you were looking for a lawyer? That was one thing you definitely should have kept to yourself until your ducks were in a row. Even then you should let the lawyer handle the contact. By letting him know your intentions you as good as asked for this exchange. Do not let your H suck you into his drama. Just tell him you're sorry he feels this way and end the convo.
Pick yourself up, dust off and move forward. If ending your M is what you truly want to do, get your plan in place and don't say anything more to your H until your attorney advises you to do so.
