Good for you meditating! I've tried so many times... not good at it at all... they say it gets better with practice... so I'll have to try again and again!
You are totally living iin the secret!!! Imagining your H coming back... YES, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY ENTITLES TO HAVE HOPE!
What would this world be without hope... a bunch of miserable people with nothing to look forward to. We need to start thinking like children... no worries, smile, look for ways to play and have fun... no worry about yesterday or tomorrow... and expect HAPPY days!
Please read the secret!!! P.S. if you think there is something wrong with you for having hope... then am offically insane! I went to retrouvaille.com and had papers sent with weekend dates in my city. I wanted to know more about it... and I , like you mention above, am scared as to how do I get past the hurt, how do I trust, what if I cant forgive... and their site and the R threads on here helped me to better understand my sitch.
Start looking forward and start understanding the process of forgiving and letting go of the hurt... its good for you so that you can heal... and also prepares you for step on if you and H reconcile.
Just trying to stay positive...
you are so strong and always give such excellent advice and are a great mom and are even kind with sharing your S with your H.
