I will keep all that in mind. it's one of those situations in which you give him an inch and he'll take a mile. I saw my insurance info and told him I'd be open to negotiating come November. and it's a good thing I did, because otherwise I wouldn't have known that D14 is not covered. and I feel certain he was just going to see how far he could get, throwing in CS and tuition. if I push back at all, he'll give in. and when I pointed out that he recently said he was fine with CS as is, and that a 50/50 tuition split was inequitable, he just said, "ok." that's as far as it will go for him, I'm certain.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
today would be my 16th wedding anniversary. and I feel...nada. perhaps a dash of gratitude that I don't have to deal with xH and his narcissism, but no sadness.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Happy May 21 ......is your ex still with WICCA WOMAN???
nope, he dumped her about a month or so ago. had been seeing both her and a woman named Susie--a counselor with the Employee Assistance Program, and then ended it with Wicca Woman. she was less than happy; he actually asked me if I had contacted her because there would be no other reason she's be upset (ummmm--how about that he dumped her for someone else...sound familiar, Wicca Woman?) D14 really likes Susie, and Susie has been a good advocate for her, seems very normal, and treats both of us respectfully. so I'm thinking she's a short-timer because she'll get a clue here soon!
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
What is it they say...what goes around comes around.....karma for Wicca Woman....I have told my daughter if dad never comes back home I wish he would find another woman one who is not the one he left us for. This is the only way our kids will ever be able to come and visit him.. while this one is still in the picture he will alienate himself from our kids. in their eyes she will always be the homewrecker who took their dad.... Glad to hear things have looked up for you, your new job...raise I remember reading at times you had no money to pay a utility bill...lived on like 50 bucks a month for groceries for you and daughter..now look at you... you have made it to the top of that big big mountain...I am so happy for you.....may God continue to bless you....do you still pray for his return if I could ask??? Doesnt sound like you need him but I know you are a woman of faith.just wondering? You should be so proud of yourself....congrats......much love and blessings Irma
Thank you, Irma. I'm not sure that I'm proud of myself...I have received so much grace over the past two years. without that, I would never have made it through. I have so many blessings to be thankful for.
no, I no longer pray for his return. I don't want him to return--I would never be able to trust him again. his repeated emotional abandonment evolved into physical abandonment. he was never really "there" except, perhaps, in the first year or so, and I continued to blame myself for being inadequate. I tried so hard to be what he wanted--which, ultimately, was for me to be invisible, to meet his needs but ignore my own. he truly is a narcissist, in the clinical sense...really has no ability to understand others' points of view or needs, altho he can fake it well in the beginning. In many ways I have forgiven him (but that's a process, and not a destination) but I will never be vulnerable to him again. nor will I ever need anyone again so much that I try to disappear, or try not to have any needs. I don't know if I even ever want to fall in love again--I trust myself much more now, but that kind of vulnerability is frightening. and I like myself too--finally. not sure I've ever really liked myself before! with every crisis or loss in my life (and there have been many, many painful times), I've been able to look back and discover the lessons in the pain, and the grace with which God was able to redeem the situation. and that's not to say that God gave me the pain so I'd grow--I don't believe it "works" like that. but when horrific things happen, or people make horrific choices resulting in great pain for others, I believe with everything in me that God will eventually redeem the situation, deliver us from pain, and give us healing if we are open to it. my life is an example of that.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
Well said, HM! I have seen the way you have blossomed over the last 2 years. Your words breath confidence in yourself. I can identify with you where falling in love again is concerned. I don't think I love my H romantically anymore, and doubt I will ever trust anyone else with my heart again. A reason why I stay, and we work well together as friends.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
