I had a bit of a crappy day yesterday. Lately it seems like everyone around me is a bit grumpy and down, but I've been feeling really good. Yesterday was my turn, probably cuz of major PMS.

I started getting all teary and got a bit mean with Wolfie. I said, "you know, if you hadn't of gotten busted, you would have been gone by now. You would have just left and I wouldn't have known why."

He said that's probably the way things were headed.

I know it was a low-blow. I was insinuting that he had only come back because it was the "right thing to do", saving face because he felt guilty and embarrassed.

I'm glad I dropped that conversation in mid-air--because I was really in a bad frame of mind.

Anyway, after work I went to S16's first wrestling meet. He won the first match, but hurt his sholder. In the second match he got that same sholder worked over hard(geez that was excruciating to watch) and I had to take him to the ER. Luckliy no broken bone, but a badly torn muscle.

I'm having to do some tough love on myself to pull out of the negativity. I have so much to be grateful for and I need to concentrate on that.

So.....

Before: Last Christmas (and even the one before), Wolfie was detached and cold toward the kids and I. He was going through the motions, but not really "there". I remember a specific moment last Christmas morning when we were opening presents...and I was noticing that he wouldn't even sit by me and seemed to push me away when I tried to hug him.
After: I just got a call at work from Wolfie. He's taking the boys out to pick up a Christmas tree and get the decorations and lights out of storage. I am so glad to see him reconnecting with our boys. They really had been hurting for quite awhile because of their Dad's absence in their lives.


Before: There had been a tension and silence building up between us that I don't think either one of us knew how to break through.
After: There has been more humor and easiness returning. I'd forgotten what it was like to be able to tease each other without it turning into defensiveness and hurt feelings.

That's about all for now.