I am not looking for either one of us to leave the house. I will do anything (and endure anything) to preserve the family. I am not pursuing her but she is very clear how I feel and I think she takes advantage of that very often. She also tries to protect my feelings but ends up hurting me more.
For instance, she said she was going out with her S, but I spoke to our bro-in-law and learned they are all going out.
She is very stubborn and admittedly not good at expressing her feelings. I am always positive and helpful no matter how much I am hurting inside. I can bury my mind in things to cope, tho.
I agree, I look for "brownie" points; she said something interesting to my therapist when asked, "Do you see the changes in H? How do they make you feel?" My W said, "I am happy for the kids because they finally have their father. I am a different story."
I wouldn't ask her to leave, and I wouldn't leave if she asked. My place is with my kids and wife.
