still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

This morning during my meditation session (which is like a day dream with my eyes closed), I pictured WH coming to me and telling me he ended his "relationship" with her and wants me to take him back. This time, probably inspired by my conversation with my friend, I asked him how I would really know if they were over- how do I know he won't miss her and want to go back to her in a couple of days or weeks? Or that she will reach out to him (BECAUSE SHE WILL) and he will fall back into the trap? And then I launched into a discussion of strength and resistance...how one of the reasons that I fell in love with him was for his strength so I know he has it. He has shown strength in a weird way by living this other life for the last year plus. Therefore I believe he could use the same strength to invest in our marriage and never go back to her again.

Wow, these meditations are really serving dual purposes. The first is that it helps me to picture reconciliation and to think positively. The second is that the meditation seems to tap into my subsconscious and help me to think of possible variables that may come up in this whole rocky road to reconciliation.

Again I think the last few weeks have helped me to grieve and accept that divorce may still happen and I will face it with strength if it does. I feel free and give myself permission to still have hope!