1. This is a very classic case... We have all heard this stuff 2. It will take you at least three months I would suspect to put an end to this affair.. 3. There are no guarantees of success 4. You have made a few mistakes that make things more difficult for you 5. It doesn't look like you have a lot of support from family, which is key here 6. The police in your area seem to take harassment calls clumsily (its ok for an interloper to harass a marriage that's experiencing problems, but harassing the INTERLOPER BACK apparently is a no-no)
Good news 1. Sounds like your Brother IL and a few others ARE steadfast supporters in your favour 2. You have a son and wife has a record of irrespnsibility under her care 3. You want to save your marriage
What we want to look for here TWolf is
LEVERAGE
There are two routes you can go
Your Wife The Interloper/ Other Man (OM)
I usually reccomend the OM but he seems to be quick to call police and for some reason they take his side...
What you want to do is apply PRESSURE to OM to make him back off
1. Is he married? I take it that's not married? 2. Does he have a job or a business that he dones't want you embarassing him at?
The purpose of the exposure is to SHAME the OM and the WS (your wife) into ending their affair.
You need to clearly demonstrate that this is HURTING your FAMILY... IGNORE what your wife is saying... focus on the harm your SON is going through
1. Some community members will just turn away 2. Some community members will tell you that you are crazy 3. Some community members will tell your wife they won't talk to her until she ends her affair
HOW do you KNOW your wife is cheating on you? You say its a lie, but do you have proof that you can DEMONSTRATE to the people you expose to?
Busting an affair is largely a community activity. If your community is mature and educated they more often will support you. If your community is ignorant and chlidish they wont.
By community I mean the network of freinds and family members you and your wife and OM are in contact with.
You have to assess WHOM is best to expose to.
I would also find out the specifics of this "harassment" law the police are touting around... from my reading its a very dubious charge that people exaggerate very often...
Have you considered a court order to keep OM away from your son?
Explore what leverage you can apply to OM and Wife, where do they work? Where do they socialize? Is their local restaurant owner willing to turn them away if you asked him to?
If the whole community refuses to house them or talk to them its a shoe in to die, this is the ideal...
Its a shame you didn't put a stop to this sooner, its claassic.
When you see your wife talking to another man, get INVOLVED... Do NOT let her talk to anothr man, especially a SINGLE man without getting your head in there... no PRIVATE time with other men.. PERIOD
