Running out of time.

[Cie la vie]

This week was actually a little interesting in my sitch.

The mother of my children got a little testy in a couple of emails to me and than quickly changed her tune.

She emailed me Monday and started off by updating me on the health of the children. Both but primarily my son has been fighting a chest cold/hack. She gave me the udpate and than shifted to asking when I would be sending her a check for the list of expenses she sent me.

I respond to any email she sends with a minimum of words (zero fluff). I told her I do not have the funds to pay her my portion of the taxes. This is the truth, I am operating in the red monthly. She didn't like this. She proceeded to tell me how she held up her end of the agreement by taking care of the taxes and paying them. She paid without any discussions with me and I was surprised. I told her she made that decision without involving me at all. Case closed. I have every intention of paying her but I can't give her what I don't have but will when the house sells.

She went off on how she has overextended herself by paying the taxes and that being paid back when the house is sold is fine but "you haven't listed it". I responded with..

"You've overextended both of us with your decisions. We are now both in the midst of the problems that come with those decisions. Paying nannies full time while you were unemployed for eight (8) months cost us in excess of $23,000.00. That was a decision you made unilaterally". In the same email she said the following and I responded. Here it is.

HER "If you had communicated this to me, I would not have covered the taxes".
ME "You paid the full amount without any prior discussion with me".

She also apparently feels that I am not communicating properly.
HER "I would also appreciate it if you can communicate more effectively with me, i.e.; notify me before our friends of your trip with our children ( I am aware that you are in keeping with the agreement because we said two weeks prior for in state but the fact that you told our friends and I found out through our nannies and not you and I had to ask you for verification before you made me aware of thismeans you could've brought me into the loop as well and you chose not to communicate it), notify me prior to my paying our taxes that you cannot reimburse me for the money I have paid on your behalf, notify me before the deadline of our agreement for the house getting listed before the deadline comes and passes that you haven't listed it. Again, I had to ask"

ME "I don't agree with your characterization of my supposed lack of communication. Simply because the Nannies were aware of my vacation plans because I had just made them does not demonstrate a lack of communication. The same holds true with timing of my email exchange with MUTUAL FRIEND. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill".

And the final exchange.

HER "I just need clear communication and the respect I am giving you by delivering that communication in a timely manner.
ME "And you are getting it. The fact that the nannies and MUTUAL FRIEND were aware of my vacation plans a day before you is not an example of any lack of respect or communication. Yes, the house has not been listed yet but it will be and you will get your money. I didn't ask to be put in this position it just comes with the territory".

Anyway, she didn't respond to this email directly and when she did respond all the venom was gone. I'm not interested in having these kinds of negative exchanges as they end up requiring more communication with her than I would like to have. However, my very brief and concise (no "how you doing" and "I did this with the kids...") responses to her emails is clear bothering her. TFB!

After this email exchange she followed up later with an email informing me that she was considering taking the kids to ".......land" over the Memorial weekend and wanted to know if I wanted to join them. WTF? I responded with "I have plans".

It's interesting that she wants to take the kids to such a park the weekend before my scheduled vacation with the kids. Sounds to me like someone is competing with me now on kid functions and is lookng to water down my week with the kids.

The emails have stopped for now.

By the way I did pay her a portion of the my tax nut and will continue to do so until either it is completely paid or the house sells and I can lump sum her.

Looking forward to my weekend with kids. Everyone have a great weekend.