"was your s obsessed with the money and material goods?"
Well we really did not have any money to speak of. She was working it anyway she could to keep the house. At the very best we would have ended up D and even. There would have been no way for her to keep the house. She could not have afforded to buy me out. We had enough debt that any value in the house would have been absorbed.
"did your s want to walk out with everything?"
She pushed me into a position that the best choice was to move out. I seem to remember I was really not happy about that.
"at the same time, accuse you of being greedy and vindictive?"
Of course. Everything was my fault. That is how it works.
"why did you stay and fight?"
Cause it was the right thing to do.. and I love her.
"what gave you strength when everyone says he/she should love you for who you are? why are you changing yourself to make someone love you?"
Well.. she does love me for who I am. Even then when she was wanting to get out. I am pretty easy going.. which gets interrupted as "not caring". She wanted me to be more vocal.. and lead more. I don't know that I changed in the normal sense of the word. Who I am.. how I think.. that all still functions the same. I changed the things that rubbed her the wrong way. It was not my intention for what I was doing to hurt her.. but it came across that way to her.
"you really want to hold up a mirror to the other person and ask if they are proud of themselves?"
In the moment.. and if asked that question.. they will likely say yes. There is a good possibility that they would answer no.
Ask the question. It is within the scope of something you could ask. Again.. be sincere. Not angry. If you ask angry.. I will assure you the answer will be yes.
Are you proud of yourself right now?
"my obsession with his unfound infidelity needs to be tamed. it drives me insane."
Is it the act.. or is it the thought that if you knew.. it would make this easier? Be careful with this. Sometimes we do things that make us hurt more.
"um, and what if he did? anything acquired after the date of separation is off limits i believe. which means i can go and buy a house."
I am not a L. But.. right now.. a house.. just not a good idea! There are soooo many things that just not right about that for you.. from my perspective. Maybe I am wrong.. Maybe it is the thing that changes your whole "perspective". I just don't "see" it.
"luckily, where i am. it can factor into play."
You have to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. That is the kicker. Where I live.. you basically have to have pictures of them "doing it". Here it only stops any support payments. Everything is still split down the middle. There was a post around here about a woman who got a ton of money from it. If you are separated.. it really would not matter.
"i'll drive out myself.
i will take a short nap. shower, pack, and go. friend of mine has already made a shopping and lunch date with me for sunday. to get my mind off of everything."
Sounds like a plan. Have fun. Or at least try.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
