The one key helpful tip I received on here which really resonated with me came from Bridgestone who suggested I look at the work of Dr. Steven Stosny.
Hi HM, I want to echo the words above because Stonsy is fantastic. He wrote a book with Dr. Pat Love (yes, that is her real name) called, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. It has some significant insights into what make both men and women tick which might be helpful in your situation.
Another thought that came to mind as I was reading through your sitch is that it important to take your mind off the "why" of your situation to the "action" challenge. Meaning, why your husband is behaving as though an alien has landed in his body is less relevant than what you can do do save the marriage. Hopefully, you will get insight on the "why" on down the road, but this might take years. Spinning your wheels on that matter right now takes away valuable time and energy from your true desire: getting him back.
If you haven't already picked up Michele's book, Divorce Remedy, I highly recommend that you do. Furthermore, skip right to page 124, the Last Resort Technique. (it is in chapter 6). This section will give you numerous HELPFUL actions that you can be taking, right now, to give your marriage a chance.
My heart goes out to you and I would love to hear more!
