"want to know if anybody else out there experienced the same thing and was able to turn things around."
Yes. Me.
was your s obsessed with the money and material goods? did your s want to walk out with everything? at the same time, accuse you of being greedy and vindictive?
why did you stay and fight? what gave you strength when everyone says he/she should love you for who you are? why are you changing yourself to make someone love you?
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"at this point, he's making himself look very unattractive."
Been there too.
you really want to hold up a mirror to the other person and ask if they are proud of themselves?
it's not even about the money. it's about the way he's going about it. padding numbers. whatever happened to full disclosure and honesty? i was honest with my numbers. i didn't pad and didn't hide. now i get his and it's like .. wow. where did these suddenly come from? mysterious debts? mysterious cash from parents to us? i think he's stretching the truth on most. he can prove them but i think they are half truths. i'm sure his parents gave us money and it was for "us" at the time. but on paper, he's going to say it was for him.
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This is a boundary.. of sorts. If something is unacceptable to you.. and not what you want.. why can't you state that? You don't have to go along joyfully with this. Again.. at the very least.. he will question himself.. and all his thoughts about you. As long as you react in a way that is healthy for you.. and you can hold your head high cause you know what you did was right and honorable. Then people will "see" it. You don't let the situation control you. Your actions.. are your responsibility. No one other than you is making you act this way right now.
"greatness is not a function of circumstance. it is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline."
my obsession with his unfound infidelity needs to be tamed. it drives me insane. that's why i need to get away from here. i can't stay here in this state. it's unproductive.
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Anything acquired within the contract of marriage in most states is "joint". And to a point he has a claim to it.
yes, but anything acquired pre-marriage is yours to keep. a lot of the jewellery he has claimed was given to me pre-marriage. why is he laying claim on it? in the eyes of the law, it's mine.
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This is why you don't want to buy a house now!
um, and what if he did? anything acquired after the date of separation is off limits i believe. which means i can go and buy a house.
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"let's not forget - who asked for this." Again.. most states.. don't care. Sucks..
luckily, where i am. it can factor into play.
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Sometimes.. you have to make smart choices.. no matter what the cost is.
i'll drive out myself.
i will take a short nap. shower, pack, and go. friend of mine has already made a shopping and lunch date with me for sunday. to get my mind off of everything.
