On the contrary, Mila, I think you do have the words and what you wrote to him was just perfect. You refused to engage and threw a bit of confusion into his fog.
I zeroed in on him saying “I’m the same man I have always been.” Either that was a response to something you said to him once, which it may be, or else it’s from deep inside of him. However, this is a clear indication to me of him realizing he’s NOT the same man he always been and he’s confused. It’s like that old saying “thou doth protest too much.” If he thought he was the same man he always was, he would have no need to mention it. This is an insight into something he’s processing right now.
I think SCh has nailed it also, he is looking for acknowledgement that what he is doing is OK. And Eric is dead on with that analysis of the true meanings behind his spew.
Cyrena, love the “try on anger” angle, never thought of that.
Mila, you got some great, insightful responses to this situation.
I wonder, in fact, since my H is so stuck in NOT showing any anger, if I should poke the tiger after all… just so I can get what you got here, which is a CLEAR indication of where your H is. This is good for you on one side, which is that you now have a milestone to remember, and people have done a great job of analyzing for you.
I know it hurts and you were stunned, but remember me and think about this... My H has shown NO indication of where he is and what he’s thinking. I’m totally left wondering constantly if he’s just moved on and forgotten me. He seems completely happy and has not in months said ANYTHING to me about anything to do with us. It’s like “us” never existed. You KNOW some of what’s going on with your H. I envy you, even in your pain, because to me, feeling anything in the way of feelings, even negative ones, would be better than this limbo and numbness.
I know that’s small consolation, but I threw it out there anyway. Hugs.
