(((DU))) You sounded better in that last post. Have you decided whether to see your H before he deploys? That is a tough call - do what you can handle.
Questioning is good - it is better than going along with something because you "should" or have been told by someone else to. There is nothing wrong with that.
I too have been on my knees more the past year and a half than I have probably in my entire life put together before then. It has been good for me.:)
