I think I will approach it more that I finished the search for a counselor. Not ask her if it is OK to go but that this is who I found should be able to help us the most. Since she already agreed. If she wavers, and I think she will, I will just say I am following through with what I told you I was going to do.
I also have a back up plan if she says, like she has a few other times, that she said in her letter that she was done. I will say that it also said in her letter that she tried everything to help us, and that is not true. All she had to do was talk to me, and we could have worked on so many problems. Instead she bottled it up and resents me for so much. So of which I do not deserve.
She is driving me crazy right now. First she signs S up for summer bible school. Do I have a problem with him going? No. But she did not ask me about it or even mention about it. She discussed it with her M and they decided. I told her about it and she asked why I was so mad. Now I did not yell and did not accuse, so she obviously felt guilty. I just said, that it was a decision on our S and I should have been consulted. She got all mad and said is it because it is not your religion? I said, no it is because you did not discuss it with me. She has been throwing her Sister/BIL and Mother in my face constantly. She knows I do not like them or anything they do and they feel the same to me. In fact they have been working for years to get me out of the family. Constantly throwing comments like, that is not how he should act and all kinds of comments. W used to tell me most of them, and I said to ask them to stop. W NEVER stood up for me!! So they kept going and eventually, you plant enough seeds and the idea will grow. I take responsibility for the things I did, but nothing was so bad that it requires D to solve them. Come to think of it, very little in my eyes has the answer as divorce. But when she starts telling me stuff about them I just calmly say, that is nice or if that is what they want, and then I go on to another subject. For instance, they want to get my S hair cut like her sisters Son because it would be cute. On top of that W brother in law will cut my S hair because he cuts their son's. Just constantly throwing her family in my face. But if I bring up my family who took her in like a sister or daughter, now she just makes faces and tisks. Our house needs sprayed for ants. My dad has always done that for us. She mentioned it was time, I said I would call my D and she made a face and said, I think we have a can of spray here somewhere. What the hell is that all about. It is driving me crazy. Really it is situations like this that I want to get to a MC. I really do not appreciate the way she has been treating me and I need to get some of it out in a controlled environment. Like the whole Facebook thing. But that has gotten better lately. That is why I think things are better, but who knows anymore.
W thinks she has "reconnected" with her Sister and Mother through all of this. The reality is that her sister and mother would like nothing more than to see W and Me D. As soon as it is over, they will dump on her again like they have the rest of W's life, keep her as their loyal subject. When she was with me she had the confidence to tell them no when they told her to do something. They did not like that. I have not decided if I will be there to help when they do finally dump on her. Not a matter of if, but when. I used to try to protect her from her mother and sister because they really do treat her like S*!&. I need to let her feel the full force of what is coming. And the way I feel right now I do not think I will be there to pick up the pieces. She needs to understand what they are doing to her. I will not do this again. Another thing I hope counseling helps her with, how to deal with her family.
