I think I should be clear here. I am not looking for someone to heal me.
This is good. No one can really heal another. The job of healing unfortunately falls on us, the LBS's. For some it is an easier task than for others. For some of us (like me), the healing of our sitch's comes with a realization that other hurts in our lives must also be healed and therefore the healing process takes longer.
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I am simply attempting to understand the whole theory/purpose for my situation.
Ohh...as you know I have spent a fair amount of time pondering this. The reality is though that sometime we may never know. Once can look it and say that it is God bringing us to a place to allow him to do his work. Others would say it is just the way of life. You may never understand. I think the bigger question is....does it really make a difference? So you understand - so what. You still need to heal.
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to record my thoughts this morning, as bitter as they were
Your thoughts are not "bitter" - they are just that..thoughts. The key is not loet these thoughts consume you. Take the energy that you are applying to these thoughts and apply them to something else.
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Me the stubborn fool who believed in the value and sanctity of marriage.
It is not stubborn or WRONG to believe in the value and sancity of M. What I personally have come to accept is that we the LBS's must learn to accept that our values and believes are just that - OURS. We cannot control another. We cannot impose our will, beliefs, etc on another. The realization and acceptance of that is key to begining the healing process.
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I thought it was actually healthy to question God.
Questioning God is normal and probably to some degree healthy. In the past we have discuss "changing how you look at things"...so let me ask you this....Have you ever had an experience in your life where something happened, that was good that you did not expect? If so, was that God? Could it have been God? Could it have been the natural flow of life?
You know DU...sometime sh*t just happens and it happens for a reason that really none of us know at the time it happens. The key is to CONTROL how YOU deal with it when it does. Know this...we will cry sometimes, we will hurt sometimes, we will feel lost sometimes...BUT (yes everyone I used a "but") sometime we will also LAUGH...and SMILE....and be JOYFUL. Life, DU is about finding those times and trying to stay in them.
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In some cases I like what I see and in others, I hate what I see.
I'm not going to ask you what you are going to do about it but rather do you really know WHAT "it" is that you see.
DU - I think you are doing fine. Others may disagree. I know you and know that you will succeed. I know that you will find the answers that you are searching for. I just don't know when. Ya know what though...the more I go thru this nightmare the more I realize that in some cases we control the "when".
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
