"want to know if anybody else out there experienced the same thing and was able to turn things around."
Yes. Me.
"at this point, he's making himself look very unattractive."
Been there too.
"everyone is asking me why i want to go back to someone like this."
Still hear that every once in a while! But.. been there.. done that.
"is there enough work that i can do to really make him see? or is money really that important? more important than a human being? more important than unconditional love, companionship, and support?"
This is a boundary.. of sorts. If something is unacceptable to you.. and not what you want.. why can't you state that? You don't have to go along joyfully with this. Again.. at the very least.. he will question himself.. and all his thoughts about you. As long as you react in a way that is healthy for you.. and you can hold your head high cause you know what you did was right and honorable. Then people will "see" it. You don't let the situation control you. Your actions.. are your responsibility. No one other than you is making you act this way right now.
"gifts that were given to me, are considered to be joint?"
Anything acquired within the contract of marriage in most states is "joint". And to a point he has a claim to it. This is why you don't want to buy a house now! Most of the time the jewelry passes as a gift. It is really hard to prove they were not gifts. If the piece is worth a ton of money then they may look at it to split it.
"let's not forget - who asked for this."
Again.. most states.. don't care. Sucks.. but it is the truth. Most of the time.. any "wrong" done to you has little to no effect in a courtroom. This is dividing assets here. You both had an equal part in gaining them.. because of your contract.
"also, why would his lawyer advise against putting silly things like a handbag and the engagement ring/jewellery on the financial statement?""
The ring was prior to the contract. It would be impossible for him to prove that was not a gift. Even if you said no.. the law would be on your side if you kept it. Handbags.. most likely are not worth the time and effort. Big ticket items will show up to be "fought" over.
"i can't take a cab to my parents place. it's be one heck of an expensive cab ride - they live 5 hrs away."
Sometimes.. you have to make smart choices.. no matter what the cost is.
Pay a friend to drive you.
Be creative with your solutions.
Think outside the box.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
