I was thinking about you last night, that I may stop posting encouragement (and give you a call for a chat instead now your H is away!).. because you are feeling these things for a reason. Remember we saw at the start of the year, for Pisces it said.. relationships may end this year and you would know by June and you said, oh no.. but that if its meant to be it will work out in the end? I remember you felt it was talking to you (cant remember whose stars it was).
Then I saw this this morning on Yasmin Boland and thought of you... This weekend brings a PEAK in your life. The tensions you've been feeling are coming to (another) head. If you KNOW you have to let go of someone, or some people, or a place, or job or situation, then make your life easier and release your grip. Remember - if you love someone and you set them free, they're always going to come back to you if and when the time is right. So don't panic. Let things that appear to be "done" float out of your life with as much grace as you can. As and when you're ready.
...I've been feeling quite strange in recent weeks. I almost feel like I could tell bf I dont want to get M, but on the other hand I really want to..sorry, hard to explain. Maybe what you (and to a lesser extent myself) are feeling is whats meant to happen and is inevitable after those arduous few years. Positive and negative, yin and yang.. they cant brutally walk out and be emotionally gone for 2, 3 years without some fallout. I guess in these sitches you only really feel the grief, anger, indignation of that and have 'permission' to reject them back once they ARE fully recommitted. I see it as a process of rebalancing and we will bob back up afterwards. For you, it remains to be seen sweets, but I am thinking of you and you arent going mad. xxx
Hmmmm. Piscean here too. Seems to be more truth in the above predictions than I ever expected.
Considering seriously handing in my resignation at the moment, as I don't feel I can spend another 12 months working with the OW in my sitch, gloating over me constantly. Perhaps now really is the time to let go of my career and find something different. Less stable for sure, but perhaps better for me.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
I may have to reconsider my job. It seems in the new reorganization I am ...a luxury item. Because I have been "successful" and "flexible" I used to accept to do the dirty job, filling in, taking small projects, going to depts that needed me. I am doing something nobody else knows ho wto do in this company. People think I am smart and efficient with "great potential". I have been here for 14 years and I had my first so and so evaluation the year before last. All the rest were "extraordinary". So..., life is full of...s...surprises.
Maybe I can become a stay at home mom and see my H more and enjoy life more. Maybe I need to risk and do someting else. For now, I am staying here, see what happens...
Maybe I can become a stay at home mom and see my H more and enjoy life more. Maybe I need to risk and do someting else.
That right there was my ultimate dream. K, if you can do it, DO IT! If your job isn't fulfilling anymore and you can afford to live without the income then, by all means, DO IT! Staying with your kids and having more time to spend as a family is something you could never regret doing.
I understand your feelings of being torn, not wanting to trust, not being convinced of your own feelings. I'm going through the same thing but with no reassurance. Be strong, but above all else, be YOU.
H left yestreday and already I feel... I miss him. And I feel better. I guess loving him from a distance is safer. Doing a lot of work today around the house. Threw away 7 huge bags of toys.Kid's room looks better already. Now I want to change curtins, buy sofas and a new bed LOL!! Change the entire house if possible. I have energy for a change.
Hey, M - Just caught up... You MISS him? Yea! (I think!)
It must feel good to get all of those toys out! I should do the same... I was showing a realtor our house the other day, and walking around it, I noticed how much of a house slacker I've been. Lots of clutter, disarray, etc... It almost suffocated me! I was so anxious. I got to work on that immediately!
And, M, I was a stay-at home mom (sporadically) during the years when the kids were just born. It's awesome. I enjoyed it so much when the kids were young. My only problem was that I drove the school, the soccer club, etc... nuts, after awhile, trying to volunteer non-stop, build an entire new data-base for them, focus on their marketing efforts, etc... I was finally told by several people... "It's time for you to get a job!" Good Luck on that. It's a huge lifestyle change.
Is H incredibly busy w/the first games starting in a few weeks?!?!!? Greece has some interesting first games!!! USAvsEngland is up first for us. My boys have it ALL covered!!!
Hope all is well, and keeps getting better!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Yes, changing the house, making things fresh and new, especially in the bedroom helped me a lot! I bought a new bed, new curtains, new bedspread and matching pillows. I had to get rid of everything that reminded me of our troubled times!
That is funny (ok not exactly funny) but last night the kids and I were flopping out a blanket on the living room floor for our traditional Friday night campout...it was our old comforter from our bed. I bought a new one after Dan left, but kept it bc the kids liked to snuggle on it.
So I actually found myself looking at it, thinking, "That is the bedspread I used to put on our bed in KC when...."
I have been under the weather for too long and my house is the proof. It's always nice and clean, I dont have clutter or anything (except in one closet) but for the last 2 years, everything looks the same. And of course it needs a woman's touch to change it and not my babysitter's.
I found curtins today. Expensive but nice. Will have them in 3 weeks. Next thing on Monday, changing the small bathroom which is the one H uses. I am byuing a nice set of cabinets and sink etc... Took the carpets off today, sent them for cleaning and storage. Called a guy to come and install an alarm system and someone to come and fix the mosquito nets at all doors leadind to the veranda and windows. Next week it's the bedroom and maybe veranda. My goal is to have a "new" house by the time H comes back end of June.
Made a painting today. Pending order for over a month. H has been calling a lot. The hotel he is staying is a 5star resort. He said the best one he ever stayed in.
Took the kids out for pizza. My dad had chemo on Friday and seems ok. It usually hits him day 4 after the therapy. K
