My problem is that I don't see him at all. We don't talk about the kids or anything anymore. The only reason he contacted me in March was because I asked him if he could help me get water off of the pool cover and he said yes.
But not to do it yet, because of the ice under it. Then a week later he texts me and asks if I got it off and I said no, and we joked back and forth about the pool and he said he didn't want to come to the house cause my girlfriend was there, and he told me his door was unlocked. I thought I was going there to talk, well one thing led to another.
The next contact was on April 7th when he dropped D13 off and gave me their left over pizza and D13 said Daddy said to give this to you and Happy Easter. I texted him and said thanks and happy Easter to you too. LOL
The next contact (April 29th)was when I asked him (nicely) through text to please watch his computer cause D13 saw some stuff that was not appropriate for her to see and then all hell broke loose. He called and accused me of cheating on him while being M and I told him (wrong thing to do DB) that I didn't cheat and still consider us M since we still are unlike him. He said he doesn't consider himself married, then I go and say well you are and you will have to face God when you die. Then he comes off with "I wish I would die already", I got to the boiling point because of discovering him on match.com and him saying he doesn't consider himself married that I said I wish you would too. Then I begged God to forgive me! I didn't mean it at all so a few hours later I texted him and apologized for saying it. So, when he picked D13 up on May 8th he took it out on her, by not letting her use his computer and didn't take her anywhere all weekend. This was Mother's Day weekend. Also was our anniversary on Mother's Day and she said that he woke up very sad (she didn't know it was our anniversary) and opened up at beer at 8:30 in the morning.
Then on May 12th I heard he was not doing well with his blood pressure and stomach problems through D13, so I texted him and told him that if he needed anything to let me know. She said he was so down and out, so then I say that I would be their as his friend if he ever wanted to talk I would listen and not judge him for the way he feels or what he says. I told him that I take some of the responsibility for us not making it but I did stand to prove to him how much I loved and cared for him and I also know what he was going through, since I went through it 6yrs. ago and didn't talk to anyone about it. I also told him that I will stay away and not bother him anymore and that it's up to him whether he would want to call if he needed someone to talk to.
Now, this has been going on for 18 months with his depression, she said he will hear a song and get all filled up. His parents (mom & step-dad) that actually set our wedding date and everything, so it would be on their anniversary don't want us back together. He didn't talk to his mother for over 12yrs. because she made a comment to his sister about H adopting my S.
And H started talking to his mother in August and blames me that I never liked her. WTH? He was the one that kept away, I would always say to him what if something happens to her, you need to make amends.
Then of course there is his father and step-mother who are Pro-divorce! He lived with them for the first 6 months of separation and then the witch that said she loved me sooo much set him up in his apartment and told him to just get divorced and be done with it. He blamed me for his depression and our M. How can he do that when he is still depressed? Now he is drinking really heavy, and went on match.com (step-mother did that).
He would go on and off his AD's and when he was on them would call when he had D13 and joke with me and everything.
Haven't heard a word since then and I'm afraid I won't either. I have gone dark now. Some people on the board have told me he is spiraling down and maybe it's a good thing and just to sit and watch, but I didn't want him to do anything to himself. 3yrs. ago he was suicidal so that's why I sent that text saying I will be there for him as a friend. He has suffered depression on and off for 12yrs. but neither set of his parents believe in depression and to top it off the step-mother is a nurse. LOL
How do I have any hope left, when both set of parents don't want us back together and he will do what they say, well he has so far. I really think he is afraid of things because of them. He doesn't want the rejection again from either set of parents.
Thank you so much for giving me the advice and answering me. Just don't know how to fake anything anymore in front of him since I haven't seen him in person since March 17th. It's like he has gone dark too. Sometimes, I swear that he is doing everything as far as DBusting to get over me. If we both go dark, how the heck will we even discuss anything to do with kids. He goes through D13 all of the time, even though I have asked him nicely not to get her involved.
Where do I go from here?
Sorry, so long just wanted to catch you two up on the sitch.
