I'm still struggling (well actually my heart is wrestling with my mind). I don't know if what I want more of from Wolfie is reasonable and necessary to having a good R....or if I'm a big brat who is being needy and just not satisfied even when things are going well.
SIGH!
I'm not going to wallow in it though. Time to get back to the before and after stuff.
BTW does anyone know of a place in which throttling a H for being a jerk is legal? I am real furoius at him right now... I mean mine, of course, not yours Tal
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
THROTTLE: throt·tle Pronunciation: 'thrä-t&l Function: verb Inflected Form(s): throt·tled; throt·tling /'thrät-li[ng], 'thrä-t&l-i[ng]/ Etymology: Middle English throtlen, from throte throat Date: 15th century transitive senses 1 a (1) : to compress the throat of : CHOKE (2) : to kill by such action b : to prevent or check expression or activity
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
Tal...hugs.. the impending holidays seem to have everyone a bit shook up. I have decided to shake my blues and push forward working on what I can work on...which means me and my attitude. I was feeling a bit like things are just ok...boring, unromantic, mundane, etc. etc. Instead of being grateful for the fact that things are 100% better than they were, I was focusing on how they are still not the way I want them to be. H still watches too many sports programs, sex life is fine...just fine...H still monopolizes television, no real romance ...and I want passion! So? What to do? I can only change me. I will try my best to shake things up a bit..... My point? When I start feeling whiney and needy...and this is just me, Tal, I need to recenter myself. I need to focus on me and figure out what I can do about the situation. What do I need to do for me to feel happy?
I just went and got my hair highlighted and trimmed....makes me feel sexier...happier. So, there's my start. May go get nails done, too....haven't done that in a long time and it's the holiday season, so what the heck....if I look good, I feel better...and so, now, on to romance...what little things can I do to be more romantic? You see, instead of waiting for him to do it....I'm gonna do it!
Last night was tough as Wolfie was way grumped out and tried to start a fight about the state of the house. I didn't bite. I validated that there is a problem and tried to come up with solutions. He just kept on bitching about everybody and cussing so I just kept coming up with more solutions and told him that he should go visit other families' homes that have a bunch of teenagers and see how bad our place ISN'T.
He eventually calmed down and even apologized. I didn't let any of this get me down or drag me into defensive mode so we ended up going out to dinner and having a nice time.
