Heck yeah you guys can use it! We'll see how it goes, I'm hoping he will surprise me and actually do it, cuz follow-through has often been an "issue" with him.
I won't be surprised if he doesn't, but I'll love it if he does.
Ah yes, follow through. My H is not great on that either even after I tell him what I would like him to do. If it's not something he'd normally do then it usually does not happen. I'm not sure why that is because if he told me he wanted me to do XYZ, I would make every effort to do so. It would be in my mind. He seems to let it go in one ear and out the other most times. Any suggestions how to tell him what I need that would make him actually want to do it?? Heck, even remember it? Tal, you seem to be coming along in this area. It's great that he is trying to met your needs! Rachael
After asking, how to get him to want to and remember?
Hmmm.
1. Draw a little heart on his forhead with red ink every night while he's sleeping? (variation on the string on the finger technique!) 2. Send him to Dr. Phil, who can explain that wives deprived of emotional intimacy become "hungry lions". 3. Write him an excellent love letter first and, in it, request that he write you one as well.
A combination of all of the above might reinforce some behavior-modification, lolol!
Somewhere in all of the Venus/Mars books I recall seeing an example of a H's letter to his wife describing the feelings that he had regarding their love-making. It was the kind of letter most wives would treasure, not to mention that it was very erotic.
I think maybe it was Venus & Mars in the Bedroom or Great Sex or something like that. Not only did it explain the way many women have the need for emotional intimacy as PART of their sex-drive, but also gave a really good example of such a letter. Maybe there is a way to work that book into your request.
Some good ideas indeed! Especially the part of me acting first. In the past when I would ask him why he wasn't doing such and such, he would get defensive and angry. It pushed buttons for him somehow. Maybe he thought I was making a statement that he was inadequate (who knows what these guys think?) I DEFINATELY don't do that any more. If I really need him to do something I ask directly for it, which does not make him mad ,but it also does not mean I'll get it either! I have also been sayiing and doing things to him that I would like him to do for me. We'll see how this turns out. My favorite saying is, If nothing changes, then nothing will change. If I have to be the first one to change something then so be it. I'll definately have to look into getting that book! Rachael
Yeah, I've even thought about getting the book for all 4 of our sons. I know it would embarrass them, but there is some concepts in it that I think are vital for males to understand about females and our sexual responses.
After all, I would recommend they read the owner's manual before driving their car.....
OK, I get the gist that your list was "tongue-in-cheek."
... but just in case, a combination of all of the above could very well be looked upon as controlling behavior.
Now that you have let him know what you want, it has to be his choice to follow thru for the letter to really mean anything for either of you ... to be a true love letter it needs to be of his own free will.
Now with that said, if you want to give him a hint on what tone you like him to set, leave out your favorite of those tattered edged letters you treasure so where it looks like you have just read it and left it after being distracted by something else.
Hmmmm. Now you've really got my interest peaked. Maybe I should take it on vacation with us and I can read the good parts to him. He hates to read. Rachael
Quote: Yeah, I've even thought about getting the book for all 4 of our sons. Get the audio, easier to listen, and you can make copies for their buddies. hehe
