still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Thanks CW- was thinking about something.

A few years back, I interviewed for a teaching job. The principal was distracted through out the whole interview, asked me a few questions, then told me I was hired if I wanted the job and started walking me to my classroom. IMMEDIATELY I thought "what??? Why was she so eager? What is WRONG with this job?" and it made me not want it as much.

So I still think I have a shot with WH because before, maybe it was so obvious that I wanted him back and was too eager, and it made my attractiveness go way down for him.

(ALTHOUGH I had the opportunity to show him that I improved in areas he complained about and I was able to show a lot of strengths that I wouldn't have been able to if I did NC earlier!)

Which leads me to another thought (which reminded me of the experience during the job interview). I was watching Mad Men at my friend's house. Draper is making his sales pitch to the CEO of a cosmetics company. The CEO starts criticizing his idea and suddenly Draper starts saying it's time for you to leave then. We are done" and goes on to say how the CEO HIRED his firm because they believed in their ideas and skills since their previous strategies failed. But if the CEO was not smart enough to use his ideas then clearly he can't help him. The CEO quickly backtracks and ends up loving the idea and wanting to use it.

My point is that Draper was rejecting the CEO before the CEO could reject him! And it caused the CEO to suddenly find his advertising idea to be good and he wanted to use it.

Getting something too easily makes it lose it's appeal.

Having something taken away raises it's appeal. ( I have to confess that when I realized that I was losing WH I desired him more than ever! That was before I realized he was having an A. Even after learning that, I still clung to the hope he would stay)

but the CEO could have been the WAS- he married the LBS because he believed in her. The LBS wants to help the WAS and they waffle...so the LBS says if you aren't smart enough to see that you married me because you valued what I have to offer then I don't need you. The WAS goes wait a minute....I don't want to lose you!

I know this is what we are told all the time by the vets but I had to believe I was valuable enough to WH for him to not want to throw me away...after making improvements, my self esteem raised and now I feel "expensive!" lol!