Some good ideas indeed! Especially the part of me acting first. In the past when I would ask him why he wasn't doing such and such, he would get defensive and angry. It pushed buttons for him somehow. Maybe he thought I was making a statement that he was inadequate (who knows what these guys think?) I DEFINATELY don't do that any more. If I really need him to do something I ask directly for it, which does not make him mad ,but it also does not mean I'll get it either! I have also been sayiing and doing things to him that I would like him to do for me. We'll see how this turns out. My favorite saying is, If nothing changes, then nothing will change. If I have to be the first one to change something then so be it. I'll definately have to look into getting that book! Rachael
