Dont apologize for trying to be a fair guy. It would make you appear weak.
I insisted she was not to live under the same roof as me if she was going to date other men. I probably had no legal way of making her leave, but I was able to be firm about it and use a bit of reverse psyhcology to convince her to live somewhere else.
I filed for the D with a protective restraining order which allowed the kids schedule and place of residence (my house) to remain the same. I felt that being on the offensive allowed me to call a lot of the shots. She was pissed like a disturbed hornets nest, but she settled down and we were able to work out a shared parenting schedule on our own.
She noticed that I was not a push over whimp. That I had become stronger. She was on the fence for months and I had my L back off as I still wanted to save my M. I finally got fed up with the cake eating and I doubted that I could ever love her again (she got an STD which would always remind me of what she did) so I had my L push the D through by negotiation with her L. We did have to go see a judge for a pre-trial meeting and we were able to hash out the remaining minor finacials in private between L's at that meeting.
One week before the D was final, she asked for another chance. I said no as I knew she was not strong enough for piecing. Plus, she is an incredibly selfish, frigid and expensive a$$hole.
She had sent me a couple letters saying that a nightmare had entered her life. I assume she went through some sort of MLC but I dont really care. Also, she told me that I was a good guy and that I did not deserve what she had done to me. It was nice to get the letters of apology.
All in all, I came out well financially. We coparent very well. Our kids are well adjusted to life in two homes. She married the OM who is turning 70 in July making him 31 years older than her. I had a girl friend for about 9 months who I met towards the end of the D process up until June of last year before I broke up with her for various reasons of incompatibility. I am now in the early stages of a new relationship that I have better feelings of compatibility about. But, how does one really know whether a long term relationship will work out? Hopefully I have learned a lot more of what is required to keep the love alive in a relationship.
I sent you a friend request. It is tougher for me to figure out things in FB since I changed my FB language to English Pirate, but the user interface is funnier with the pirate terminology. Arrrrrh!
