Thanks Piano, flowmom, newmama, and rr22! Your input means so much to me! Yep, I think you are right that I need to go with a positive mental attitude (although knowing the worst that could come, helps with creating the positive attitude; by this I mean that I can tell myself that I can survive even the worst).
Yes, Piano, you are right, the meeting doesn't have to bring everything to an end (although I think he would love that). In his state there is no "no fault" divorce, so he would probably need to wait for a year (january 2011) to prove that we have not been together (or something like that). His fear of my presence in his apartment for several days might have to do with that, as it would "reset the clock." At least this is how I understand the law but I will need to find someone in his state to interpret some legalese for me.
Flowmom, I also lost 30 lbs since January and I feel so much better in my own skin. And I plan to shed 30 lbs more by the end of the year. I won't count on him to really notice, but as newmama said, self-confidence does look good. H has repeatedly told me in the past that looks do not count so much in a marriage; it's the connection between spouses. So since in his view I (we) fall short in that department, my new looks will probably not have much effect on him. But I will go looking my best nonetheless
