Thank you for saying that! I don't know how inspiring I can be, but I will do my best to keep checking in. I know if it had not been for this site & the people on here, I couldn't have gotten threw this mess, so hopefully I can be here for someone else!
Believe me, I still have my down days, I still wish for him to come home but right now I don't see that happening & if you had told me a year ago that I would be saying this, I would not have believed it. I always thought we were soul mates, I thought when he came out of the fog he would return & I thought that kind of love never went away. Do I still love him, yes, I think I'm like the song, I'll always love him but I know that I have to move on. How hard is that, very! But I'm trying.
Thank you both so much for saying this about me & hopefully I can be of a little help to someone.
I am exactly where you are, I still want my old ex back but I know that I have to move on. It is very painful, but we have no choice.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Yes, it is very painful! I agree, we don't have a choice. I just can't believe where we are today! I just thought since this r with ow happened so fast, he only emailed her & talked to her on the phone 2 months before he told me he wanted a d that it would not last. But, he is dealing with a sociopath, got sucked in (not all her fault, MLC) & now he is afraid of her. I'm not guessing here, his friend told me that he was spineless.
Trusting, how are you moving on, what do you do to get him out of your mind?
Well, nothing too new going on in my world at the moment. Although I did get a phone call last night from my xh's sil. She & I were never really close before the d but she didn't like the way my xh did. We really didn't talk much about xh, just mentioning things in the past. She did tell me that her h had gone to the Grand Canyon with his girlfriend. I knew before my d that she suspected a girl interested in her h, so last year her h went to Thailand to visit my ex, that girl went with him. When we d, her H was upset with me b/c I got a lot in the D & of course those brothers stick together & they do not do any wrong, but one thing about it, my ex never liked to be around his brother. I think that is why my sil & I were never that close b/c my ex never wanted to be around them. They do like to brag! Of course ow likes to be around bil b/c they have money. When we d my bil weighted about 350 plus & now has had lapband surgery & is down to 170 or 175, which is wonderful for him. Since they have money, ow may try to go after bil now, ha ha! Honestly, I wouldn't put it past her!!
OW did tell my ex's best friend in Thailand (he has money too) that he needed to stick with her that she would be a better friend to him than my ex could ever be. And, this is my ex's friend from grade school. He didn't fall for it, in fact he is the one that told my ex when he got rid of ow that he would be friends with him again.
Anyway, my sil didn't mention the baby or anything about my ex & ow & I didn't either & I didn't ask any questions. I guess I'm not a 100% trusting, she asked was I staying busy & I told her I was, she of course asked about the flooding here, but didn't really question me about anything else. She claims she doesn't want her H to know she has called me, I think I believe her but then again I don't know what to believe anymore.
Crazy world!!
Well, that's about it. I need to get ready for church. I hope everyone has a great day!!
I would be very cautious in what I shared w/her. I find it quite interesting that she called after all of the time share business took place over the last few weeks. You should listen to your gut instinct on this one.
I do hope that you are doing okay and it appears that everyone is pulling together to assist in rebuilding, etc.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know, I thought that was very interesting. I'm sure they have gotten something from the timeshare by now at their house. But, she didn't say a word about it. Maybe she doesn't realize it's something that I was a part of, like I said, we were not that close to them & I doubt they even knew we owned it.
I didn't tell her a thing, I used my head for a change, sometimes I know I can talk too much & after I say things I wish I hadn't but this time I decided I would keep my mouth shut! She talks a lot anyway & wants to tell everything that is going on or has been going on, they like to brag so I just listened. She only asked was I staying busy & about the flood but other than that she really didn't ask questions. I'm very careful in what I say to her & I didn't ask anything about my ex.
I'm doing all right. I guess it's like I told Trusting, I don't really know how to let go & get him out of my mind.
People are coming together here but it's going to be a very slow process! From what they have said on the news, the damage is worse that what Katrina did. I just know it's bad but everyone here are troopers & will get thru it.
Even though she didn't directly come out and talk about your xh, she was relying on the "old" you to talk. I've always said that a dog that brings a bone will carry one and I will bet my last dollar she spills her guts to the family about what you are doing.
It's all very strange that she would ring you up after the mess of the time share.
I've been reading and watching the news about the area and I'm very sorry to see so much destruction.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think you might be right about her wanting me to talk & ask about ex. I had been working in my yard all day yesterday so when she called I was in the shower & called her back. I told her I was sorry I missed her call that I had been working all day & was in the shower. She just asked, have you been pretty busy & I said yes. I didn't mention work or anything just that I had been busy.
She is not one that I would trust 100%, I think she talks a lot of bull myself. The last time she called me was when her husband went to Thailand with that ow to visit my ex, that was last June or July.
I'm going to be very careful what I say, that is for sure!!! You are so right, it is awful strange that she calls after all this timeshare mess! I didn't bring it up!! I had an opportunity also, b/c she told me of an incident that they are dealing with that they are going to have to pay for something they shouldn't (long story)but they just got something in the mail about it & her H called her when he got to the Grand Canyon & she told him about this letter, of course this was about their stuff not my ex's but still, now that I think about it that was an open door & I didn't take it, I kept my mouth shut! Maybe I'm reading something into it that is not there but I don't know, I've never felt like I could talk to her.
That is very interesting....she got a letter int he mail and now they have to pay for something they shouldn't? If that isn't telling in many ways.
Trust your gut...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Honestly, I wouldn't put it past her!!