I just can't take it anymore

[james217]

I am glad you were able to see your son and even more glad to hear you have plans to see him again soon. I hope with all my heart you really gain some momentum from such a positive thing! Your son is so young and you will need to take the lead on moving his thoughts away to your W and putting all the focus on the R you share with him.

Were you able to get the at home glucose testing kit? It would be very beneficial to you (IMO of course) to log your daily tests for both your own knowledge and for your dr's. Diabetes isn't the only reason blood sugar runs high.

Is there any way your eye surgeon can advocate on your behalf to the state to move the process along? I just did a web search on "patient advocacy for disabled persons in Texas" and found tons of resources. Not sure where you live exactly but you might try a similar search so you have more avenues to explore.

they are trying to. But there's too many risks to have the surgery. I mean I could die. that's what happened to my god sister last week when she died. Because they do n't know if I'm suppoosed to take any medicine to prevent complications from anestesia and she won't risk my life or a malpractice suit from it.

I'm just stuck in a rut. seeing s3 was good. Serenity has really been in my corner trying to help me through all of this.

[james217]

James~

Next time you see S3, and he asks about your WAW, I'd just simply say that she is out somewhere or busy or even working.

he doesn't need to know that she's gone bye bye.. it'll lessen the hurt. kwim?

IMO - This doesn't work...

I learned this lesson the hard way...

I lied to cover for my H for months...

I told our little one he was working, he was away etc...

Anything to lesson the pain and turns out it caused more harm then good...

Better to tell the truth all along.

The child may be 3 however he isn't stupid.

Speak in his language.

yea i don't know how i'm going to handle it. It's a very delicate situation and if she comes back I don't want hostility there. I already have that with sd8.

[CityGirl]

Serenity is an angel! I think many of us have tried to be in your corner!

Why not browse Amazon and see if there are any age appropriate books you can read with your son about separation. I agree it is a delicate situation and for now you must deal with what is in front of you and that is your W being gone. Children need truth in this situation (IMO of course) and they also need protection. I can't imagine you wanting to expose your son to your W at this point. It just wouldn't be healthy I don't think.

[james217]

Serenity is an angel! I think many of us have tried to be in your corner!

Why not browse Amazon and see if there are any age appropriate books you can read with your son about separation. I agree it is a delicate situation and for now you must deal with what is in front of you and that is your W being gone. Children need truth in this situation (IMO of course) and they also need protection. I can't imagine you wanting to expose your son to your W at this point. It just wouldn't be healthy I don't think.

yes u guys have. you really really have.

waw is extremely mad. She's been N.C. for two weeks. But I was hurt and angry. I felt like I had been hurt over and over and over and she'd ask for forgiveness and finally I just said enough is enough im tired of the lies and exposed the pics and websites to like 4 people who I thought needed to know and could possibly help but also because I was hurting and tired of being made to be the bad guy. I wanted the truth told. It may have destroyed my M forever.

I also went on every dating site and told the truth. It not only disgusted me but shocked and appalled me to see her doing those type of things and possibly infecting other people.

WHen she came to me and told me she was sorry for giving me this incurable disease? I believed her.

But then I'm thinking we are working things out me and her are exclusively being intimate and sharing something special only to find out about more E.A's and a few other (at least one) P.A's and being able to actually see the messages see what she was saying and doing totally ENRAGED ME. I literally wanted to puke.

I couldn't believe she was doing those things. And just for money or rides or thrills? I was beginning to literally hate her. All I could think about was how could you cry and apologize for the infidelity and std only to be sleeping around still and possibly give me something else? That was the straw that pushed me to the full all out exposal because it could affect alot of people.

Maybe it's too late. I dont know. only time will tell.

But I'll try to figure out how to tell both boys. Thanks for your reply.

[james217]

im really starting to wonder if waw is bipolar after having a discussion with someone about it.

The whole bipolar mania and the bipolar depression describes her to a "T"

especially the total full all out "secret identity she has" (trust me it's not a joke) the ridiculous sexual behavior.

I don't know if it's the pill or not I just know she wasn't acting like this.

I'm starting to wonder about myself too.......... I need to see this neurologist. I see alot of these symptoms in me.

I did set up 2 appointments next month. i have to try to get this insurances first though

[Gardener]

Better to tell the truth all along.

The child may be 3 however he isn't stupid.

Speak in his language.

Yes.

[james217]

i think i'm manic depressive. I think I just hide it very well. All the signs are there. When I look at WAW and myself it's like looking at a female version of me. I have too many highs and lows. I have attempted suicide 3 different times in my life and have been in 2 or 3 mental facilities because of it. Not long visits but still. I think I've been in denial about this for a long long time. I think some of my uncles have this.

I used to be on celexa and trazadone. I stopped going to counseling and therapy years ago though.

This is not good. No wonder whenever me and waw have so many highs and lows.

[james217]

I just found out s3 has ADHD. attention deficit hyper disorder. *sighs* my cursed dna is affecting my son.

[Lotus]

If he is a boy, they diagnose him with ADHD. Don't get too worried about it. If there isn't a psychological syndrome for every human alive in the medical dictionary, they will invent another one.

[james217]

If he is a boy, they diagnose him with ADHD. Don't get too worried about it. If there isn't a psychological syndrome for every human alive in the medical dictionary, they will invent another one.

thanks for the reply lotus. Yea it just seems to always be something going on right now though.

Going on two weeks and i haven't heard a single thing at all from WAW.

Lately ive just been in a little rut. *sighs*

I even talked to our old I.C. today. had an interesting conversation.

Well I'm kinda down today. I wonder if WAW will ever talk to me again.