For those of us who have been at this awhile, worked through the bombshell, used the db techniques long and often...and they have helped YOU to get through most of the mess and denial...Do you find yourself arriving at the point that you'll be okay if the spouse does take a hike and get their D?
I may be there, and so I ask. I know of two gals very interested in dating WHEN it happens. One I have had no contact with, the other we have met, traded a few phone calls and emails, but we are both very much into having it finaled BEFORE any dating or going beyond friends.
No mistake, at this point I would rather have my M work out with my W. However, after much urging by friends, family, all my kids (she is their Mom) counselors and church leaders to get down the road of life (and reminding me why) I have little to no trust that she wouldn't just leave again if we got back together. Great sex and our kids/grandkids may be the most we have in common? (Yeah, I know 2 out of 3 ain't bad) but the emotional contact seems at times (most of the time) to be non-existant, and I have already heard for the last 15 years of every bad thing I've ever done to her. I just don't see that changing-maybe ever. As the mediator said who saw us a few years ago, and just the other day as I talked with him-"Do you want to see me again in another year and still be where you are at today?" And the answer is an unequivicable-HELL NO!
Has anyone else used the DB techniques to get themselves straightened up enough to come to this type of realization?
I feel a burden lifted from this. At this point I could go either way, and I'm not sure how I would handle being treated nice, no reminders of the pig I was early on, and a wife being home (maybe even cooking a meal) when I come home from work. Just being there would be waaay cool!
