What makes you think he is lying now? Like Jeff said, he sounds like a changed man?
I understand you are not prepared to trust him 100% anymore, but it might help you a bit to let go of the constant vigilance, alert for danger all the time and relax a little and ENJOY your new R with him, if you could tip into the 50- 75 % bracket of trust at least ! I went to Stress Buster with bf and thought of you again. It talks about worry and stress as being alert all the time, vigilent for potential threats to our safety/emotional wellbeing etc. We avoid things, we withdraw, we may get angry with those close to us, we are suspicious, find it hard to relax, are tearful and end up depressed. We are in 'fight or flight' mode.
I know you have been through an awful time..but ask yourself if it really serving you well and making you happy to maintain this position of mistrust/detachment/vigilence toward him?? Seems it is making you feel unwell mate.
I didnt get his asking was like a 'bribe', I just thought, he is away for 45 days, he has already expressed how much he regrets the years wasted, away from you and the family and so.. maybe he just WANTS you to come, because he may miss you and thought it would be a nice thing to do ???
