36 years - co dependent? Maybe. A habit as well. A commitment you made and value? Most likely.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You are doing quite well believe it or not. Time to focus more on you though. You can't stop him, you can't help him, and you can't control him. Repeat that until it feels like you know that so you don't go crazy
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."