I guess I don't see give-and-take for any of us here. That's not the nature of WAS/LBS, from what I gather. I know that MWD talks about how that feels really unfair to the LBS and it is. (I've actually read some stuff, ha!)
That said, do what you feel is right, P. You can assert things with him. I just worry that he'll rebel against it just for the sake of rebellion. But he might not.
I've got a question for ya-- do you NOT want her to have his name? You said that you guys agree, but now it sounds that it's something he just wants. Same with seeing her- do you not want him to see her for a while? These are areas where you can definitely set boundaries if you want.
I also wanted to say that when I was in MLC the other day (I ventured out to other threads!), I read a lot about WAS with not MLC but with depression. And the LBSes were saying there should be a topic about WAS with depression. Maybe that's your WH, I don't know. But I thought your WH when I read it.
It is totally normal to feel little emotion for him. I tend to get that way with my WH too. I think that's detachment. I think that's a really good thing.
