Wow, I would say that you have definitely been on a rollercoaster. That must have been tough to hear that one day your W wants to work things out and other days she doesn't and then she goes back to wanting to reconcile.
Yes, it has been tough, but realize, it's not like I was passively riding on the roller coaster. Some of her statements were reactions to me, like when I told her I was walking away, and when I embarassed her in mediation by telling the mediator about her A. I knew some of my actions would cause her to recoil back and lash out (like a snake), but it was important for me to maintain my self respect.
I appreciate you are trying to save your M, but always maintain your self respect as your top priority. Your W can't love you if she doesn't respect you, and she's not perfect, so when she crosses a line, don't be afraid to call her on it.
