Wow, lees, you are moving thru some powerful emotions. Moving through to the 'done' stage fairly quickly.
Yep, have to say I've never felt emotions like them, and it disturbs me a great deal to find myself so twisted up. Maybe I'm getting there too quickly, I don't know. But I wonder how much of my time and effort should really be wasted on a marriage that only lasted 6 months, with someone who obviously couldn't and still can't be bothered with it. It's not like there's any kids involved which would require protecting, or to require any kind of decent co-parenting relationship. The chances of reconciliation are so vanishingly small for our relationship I think, it's time to cut my losses. It's nearly 4 months we've been separated. Nearly as long as the time I had the wedding ring on my finger.
Originally Posted By: avermont
I have to believe that it is (relatively) easier for you to detach, be done, etc.
Absolutely. I have now reached the stage where all the foul weather friends IRL have gone back to their usual lives and are not interested in socialising with me anymore, I can't really talk about what has happened/is happening anymore for fear of alienating more people. I actually just hate both of them, and need to work on letting that go as I feel I'm quickly becoming bitter and twisted, tiring, and no fun to be around.
I know it is time. I have been putting off and putting off returning her call from Monday. I actually don't want to call her at all, so why bother? And if I'm not bothered about maintaining contact with her, there's not really any point in DB. Working on myself, yes, but it must have nothing to do with any hope of the resurrection of a thoroughly crispy phoenix.
They win. They have everything they wanted. I've made it easy for them to have it all. I don't see the point in continuing to hurt myself, prostrate myself, give of my time, give of my sanity for something which reaps no returns and is statistically doomed. I've lost my faith that working hard and living an honourable life reaps rewards. Seems to be crystal clear at the moment that they're having fun, and I'm struggling to work each day with the OW in my face, hold myself together, and pretend to be happy. I can't fight the tide of "forget about them both, they don't deserve you" any longer.
Originally Posted By: avermont
I am feeling awfully jealous about Scotland and Highland Games and all. Men in kilts...sigh...
Get on out there and have fun!
Will do. Just been let down by 3 of the people who were supposed to be coming with me. But I will have a good time anyway. Need to go and make sure that the unexpected �2000 chimney repairs have gone well, and that the cowboy tradesman has actually competed the work he was supposed to have done.
Date last night was fun. Another good friend for the future I think. And fantastic film at the cinema. Might have been an even more fun evening if the workplace joker hadn't imposed himself on us for the entirity of our time in the pub afterwards.
But there we go - I would say karma in action again messing up my life. But I don't believe in it anymore.
Reality is that which, if you don't believe in it, doesn't go away.
