2 years later it's still not getting easier

[whitneypinch]

Wow,
That all sounds like decent news. Sounds like you are handling it great and keeping expectations in check.

It's funny, I have wanted my ex and I and the kids to do stuff all together for so long...... and now I am luke warm.
We are going to dinner which is an awkward situation in general. We will try to have small talk but that's about it.
I guess I wished it would have come about in a different way. I was hoping that she would have contacted me and asked to go out.
Really what happened is that I suggested last week it would be nice if we were doing stuff together to which she replied she would love to.

I just have waves of different emotions roll over me. One minute I can't wait to see her, although I can be all over her. The next minute I feel I am getting used to being a single parent and her being at dinner will add nothing.

I know what I really want.... I really just want to know wtf she is thinking? Why does she even want to come out with us? Is it me she wants to see or does she just want to see how I am with the kids.
This is causing all the fear in me. I just want to know why she even wants to come out with us.
My "gut" says she is just trying to smooth things over so we can all be great co-parents and both be a part of our kids lives.
The problem for me is that I am a really good dad and do everything with my kids already.
Sadly, I don't really feel like just allowing her to be able to drop in or out whenever she feels like it.

Arrrg..