The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Mila, I don't think that's the case. Men are certainly wired differently, but not in that respect I think. I think it is more of the LBS who was surprised that their spouse, whom they trusted and loved deeply, left.
In my case it was several years. Even before I got the bomb.

But enough is enough. For men or women. There comes a point when the leaving spouse has killed the marriage and left. Some of us are slow to catch up however I think that's normal as well.

What makes it hard is the back and forth and the "postcards" from the other side. You cling to hope even if that's not healthy because you believe. You feel. You love. You are willing to work it out.

Eventually, you can't hold on any longer and it is time to acknowledge and move on. For some that takes longer than others. To realize that it's not you, it's them in many cases.

"it just doesn't matter" in some cases. To know, you have to go through the whole thing though. No shortcuts. No way to know you are done, until, well, you are done. If you can't say that to yourself, then keep going. If you can, then go the other direction

AJ