I haven't been on here in awhile, because my ex was in town, staying at my house, really playing house!! It was like we were a whole family again for the 4 days he was here. And, for the first time in over 2 years, there was no R talk at all, none. We got along and had a good time. I did make a mistake and when he was upstairs watching a movie, looked in his computer, thought he was sending pics of our kids to a woman and told him I didn't want him to do that, but turns out it was sending them to his facebook. He really didn't get that upset, I told him I was sorry, and that I was a snoop before this mess and am still but working on not being. Everything was fine. Night before last (his last night here), he came in my bed and slept with me snuggling and other stuff. But, totally initiated by him. That wasn't the first time we were "together" while he was here, but it was the first time we actually slept and cuddled all night. I have no idea what he is thinking or doing, and I'm not asking. I think that is making him even more curious about me. My son mentioned that we might move back down there, and ex's face lit up and looked at me, I said that we are not going to move back down there that there is no reason to do that now. Ex just said "oh". I am hoping some seeds have been planted and that he will really start thinking about everything instead of going back into the "tunnel" when he gets back down there today. He did call me from the hotel when he got there last night and we just talked about stuff like we use to when he would go out of town. And, like you, I am the one ending the conversations and saying I have to go, etc.
If I were you I would go to dinner and pretend there is no reason to be upset with her, smile, have a good time with the kids. If you can do that, do it, if you can't then don't go at all. At work yesterday, ex and I talked on the IM about some money stuff, I got upset and said a few things, then said I had to go and signed off. A little while later, he texted me and asked if I wanted to join him and the kids for pizza before he left. I said I did. But I wasn't sure if I could handle it, thought I might have reached my limit (didn't tell him that, just said I would be there), but I went. I walked in with a smile, said hello to everyone, asked about their day, etc. It was so easy to do, and I had no idea it would be. I was so proud of myself. When he left I asked for a hug, shouldn't have, he gave me a half hug. I know he is scared sh**less of what he is thinking and feeling. One minute he is drawn to me and wants to be with us and the next he has no idea what he wants. You have no idea what your ex is really thinking! And, you have no idea when it is going to "click" with her and she is going to realize what really matters in life. I say, go if you can be a happy, fun, desirable person, not for her, but because that is who you are!!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
