More before and after stuff: Before: Because of our work schedules, there are days on end that we barely see each other. After: During our separation, he began a routine of calling me everynight from work. Sometimes, there's not much to talk about, but he does it anyway. Sometimes he flirts a little and always says, ILY before saying goodbye. I appreciate the effort he makes to do this everynight, and it also makes me feel like he is making it clear, in his workplace, that he is committed to me. When I'm feeling particularly pissy, I hope that some of the other nurses make a point of telling BU XOW about his nightly phone calls.
Before: Computer use was a tool he used to conduct acts of betrayal. This started long before XOW, when he was what I considered overly intimate, secret friendships with women he knew, over email and IMing. After: he makes a point of only using the computer when I am there. If I walk away, he makes a point of telling me what he was doing on-line.
Note: we are turning one of our upstairs rooms into an office. He is looking for a used computer because he says he wants to write stories, but also wants a wireless setup to access the internet. I'm not sure how to tell him about my reaction to that. When I think about the nights that I used to wake up in the middle of the night to find that he was not in bed and was downstairs on the computer...only to find out later that the worst of my fears were right on the mark....well...I don't have to explain to you guys how that rattles me.
