The next day, I just started crying talking to my parents. I know I am pathetic! I still love my W if anyone can believe that. Pathetic! I am sick to my stomach over all this too....
How is that pathetic, LSG? Isn't divorce ranked as one of the highest stressor humans face - especially men? Add on an affair...you're moving still, so just don't get caught into depression. Each day, list what you thank God for and what you hope for...or whatever helps you get through the day. Hug your kids. Cry to your parents and close friends.
Just keep moving forward in ways that you will be proud of in 20 years. If that is toward your wife - great. If away, you do what you have to.
One problem we have on these boards, or at least I have, is letting the sadness of another's sitch get to me resulting in worse actions in my own marriage. Look at your actions objectively as you can, perhaps with your IC. Make sure you are not acting out of stubborness, anger, malice, hate, etc.
Then, act. Be ready to reverse directions if possible or needed. But act. Make your kids, yourself, your wife (or xwife), family, and God proud of you.
You are not pathetic. You are very hurt and perhaps feel victimized by the affair. I and others may agree or disagree with what you do or don't do. But, no one is living your life but you and to some degree, your kids. Fight the negative feelings and comments...act right when everyone is wrong.
