I need help in the biggest way. I feel so helpless

[SMM23]

He has alot of resentment issues.. but rather than deal with them, he just continues to run.

This sounds like my W. I am pretty sure she is depressed and trying to get her help as well. I think if she can get well inside herself. We can start to heal, maybe.

[timehealsall]

My H doesn't think he needs help. He has projected the blame onto everyone else. I think I need to give him tough love. He wants out, then get out. I'm not letting him pull me down under with him. I'm sick of flipping and flopping along and having to tiptoe around him. That's not enjoyable.

[FindingMyVoice]

My H doesn't think he needs help. He has projected the blame onto everyone else. I think I need to give him tough love. He wants out, then get out. I'm not letting him pull me down under with him. I'm sick of flipping and flopping along and having to tiptoe around him. That's not enjoyable.

Yes! Way to go Time, you deserve SO much better than what he's giving you. Big hugs!!!

[Steve McQueen]

yeah, the bipolar disorder is another thing that I thought of as well.

Does anyone have any reading materials on depression? I want to read up on it. thanks.

I would like to caution you from falling into the belief / security of believing that "depression" or "mental illness" or a "mid-life crisis" is at the heart of your relationship problems. Your husband had an affair.

Your husband had an affair / is still having one in his mind.

The fact he was upset about the supposed email from the OW shows that he is still emotionally attached. If he wasnt, it would have put a sick feeling in his stomach to be reminded but otherwise ignored it. "Water off a duck's back" is a phrase they throw around here. It would not have phased him as you describe.

You can observe the same behaviors in yourself. You are still emotionally attached to your husband. If you weren't his outbursts and anger would mean nothing to you. "Water off a duck's back." "Get out of my face" is another very good phrase.

If you are to study anything right now, I would suggest you read up about addictions, over coming addictions, and families affected by addiction. With your access to the Internet and the whole Tiger Woods joke still lingering in the news, you should be able to find enough to read about affairs, affair withdrawal and resetting of the no-contact clock.

[timehealsall]

Well. He is gone.

He emailed me today to say that we attacked him. He had to
move out. He will continue doing his thing and getting things on track and help with the kids and do his part. Blah blah blah. I replied back that it was the best thing for us. Then I told himto forget getting me the car. That I didn't want him having my car in his name and have the power to take it away from me. He then replied back going tit for tat with me and then asked I split our cell phone bill and put his number in his name. I then replied
fine. I'd take care of it. Whatever.

He came home during the day and got his stuff
and had another full blow out with his mother. It was very bad from what I hear. He was nasty and crude towards her. He told her he regretted having let her back into his. That she was his problem and was getting rid of them (her) sound familiar?!?

He was then texting me over stupid things. Asking about the lug nuts on my car. The kids.alot of silly things overall.

I came home early and text him to tell him
I'd get S5 and he said he wanted to
but I told him inwas already there.

Apparently he wanted to tell our son that he was leaving home. &$):&:@:@!!!

He called me after i got home asking if anyone said anything or if we were talking about him. I said uhm no and then he proceeded to accuse me
of trying to turn the kids against him. He is crazy. Then told me that he left because of me. That it's what I wanted. Meanwhile i had nothing To do with the argument.

He cursed me out. Said his mother and sister hate me and how ironic that I'm friends with them. Then went into total crazy talk. He then just hung up.

Then a while later he text me to have our son call him. My phone wasn't with me. And then he called and was nasty telling me to put our son on the phone. He spoke with the kids and the kids asked where he was and why he wasn't coming home and he said he would explain later.

He has text me a few times asking me to give his charger to his sister and now for his facial buzzer.

I am beyond puzzled but still strong. I am preparing myself for whatever happens but I think a D is most likely the outcome.

I'm still numb but very sad. His family is standing by me. Totally think he has lost it. This man wanted to come back home to be with family. And he keeps running and cutting those closest to him off. It's terribly sad.

[timehealsall]

yeah, the bipolar disorder is another thing that I thought of as well.

Does anyone have any reading materials on depression? I want to read up on it. thanks.

I would like to caution you from falling into the belief / security of believing that "depression" or "mental illness" or a "mid-life crisis" is at the heart of your relationship problems. Your husband had an affair.

Your husband had an affair / is still having one in his mind.

The fact he was upset about the supposed email from the OW shows that he is still emotionally attached. If he wasnt, it would have put a sick feeling in his stomach to be reminded but otherwise ignored it. "Water off a duck's back" is a phrase they throw around here. It would not have phased him as you describe.

You can observe the same behaviors in yourself. You are still emotionally attached to your husband. If you weren't his outbursts and anger would mean nothing to you. "Water off a duck's back." "Get out of my face" is another very good phrase.

If you are to study anything right now, I would suggest you read up about addictions, over coming addictions, and families affected by addiction. With your access to the Internet and the whole Tiger Woods joke still lingering in the news, you should be able to find enough to read about affairs, affair withdrawal and resetting of the no-contact clock.

interesting. I don't know what to make of it. Why would he be treating his family like this though? Not just me?

[TimeHeals]

I'll take "Because they aren't supporting his decissions" for 200 dollars, Alex?

Just kidding. I don't know what has got into me.

Integrity is important. Once we (humans) stop being exactly who we say we are, once we get lost, we make about as much sense putting an elevator in an outhouse.

Guilt, grief, resentment, and so on poison our thinking.

[timehealsall]

Amen TH. Hope you are well

[TimeHeals]

Thanks yourself.

The day started out badly (let my self get sucked into LaLa land for a bit earier today and last night). I am back right now though.

Feels good.

[timehealsall]

Thanks yourself.

The day started out badly (let my self get sucked into LaLa land for a bit earier today and last night). I am back right now though.

Feels good.

it does feel good to feel like you have a grip. I hope this lasts for me as well. I need to stay strong.