help with a plan

[Barkley]

sorry man.....that blows

[idontunderstand]

sorry man.....that blows

Yep, it does.

Still, no excuse for not doing what needs to be done.

[Barkley]

Hang in there buddy

[idontunderstand]

Thanks.

I'm in a better place than I was, that's for sure.

[Onthemountaintop]

BTW - as a teacher, I think under morality codes for teachers and superintendants, an affair could be seen as a career issue for the latter if any 'indiscretion" was occuring at a school site. OTM

I assume this was meant for me. If not, apologies LSG.

I don't know if I could get any of the teachers to back me up on this. A teacher at the school is one of my sources. Of course, no one has witnessed anything concrete. But they all suspect. How much proof would one need?

Sorry - you're right, I mixed up my reply. See: http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3204868/ and other similar cases.

I'm not saying 'go after her'. I am saying 'go after him'. She may not love you again, but if he's around, she won't anyhow. Now if you are done with her and don't want her, then who cares? Move on with life. If you want a chance for your marriage, as a teacher, I am offended that the lead-teacher in a school board would go after his employee.

Make sure you have real proof, of course. Accusing without facts that are for sure would be the guarantee to cause major backlash against you.

Remember...I'm giving you an opinion only....

[idontunderstand]

Make sure you have real proof, of course. Accusing without facts that are for sure would be the guarantee to cause major backlash against you.

I have proof on two occasions that they were somewhere outside of school together. I walked in on them at a bar when this all started. I recently found out of another at her sister's b'day party. She told me I wasn't invited and her brother told me he was there. Her brothers and sisters ripped her a new one. Of course, she swore they were only friends. The brothers don't believe her and haven't supported her. Her sisters, not so sure.

I have suspicions of other times and, as I mentioned, I have talked to one of the teachers at school and she shares my concerns. Also, another employee at school has called me sharing her concerns. There are no pictures, motel receipts or anything concrete that would stand up in a court of law. I have decided I think I have enough to go to the board and the one teacher says she will back me up. Before I do that, I am going to tell him personally to stay away from my wife. Like you said:

I'm not saying 'go after her'. I am saying 'go after him'. She may not love you again, but if he's around, she won't anyhow. Now if you are done with her and don't want her, then who cares? Move on with life. If you want a chance for your marriage, as a teacher, I am offended that the lead-teacher in a school board would go after his employee.

It offends me that my wife would get caught up in this. Even now, I can't really say I understand. I don't.

Thanks, OTM.

[flowmom]

Sending more moral support IDU . At the end of the day, dignity is a precious thing that the LBS can hold onto...no matter what. (((hugs)))

[pigskin]

I have proof on two occasions that they were somewhere outside of school together. I walked in on them at a bar when this all started. I recently found out of another at her sister's b'day party. She told me I wasn't invited and her brother told me he was there. Her brothers and sisters ripped her a new one. Of course, she swore they were only friends. The brothers don't believe her and haven't supported her. Her sisters, not so sure.

My MIL told me a few weeks ago that W and OM went to a concert near MIL's house and asked if they could stop by. I think MIL wasn't totally comfortable with it, and said "since FIL isn't home, wouldn't you rather come by when both of us are here?"

The fact that my W would even think about bringing the OM to my in-laws home infuriated me. It infuriated me even more to think that my in-laws would even consider allowing that given the state we are in. But I don't know what my MIL was thinking in how she handled the situation. She feels my W is not well, so she is likely just rolling with the insanity to try not to make matters worse. She loves me to death and is very upset with what is going on, but she keeps out of it, as she should.

I think introducing the OM around to friends and family is even more disrespectful than the affair in the first place...

[LSG]

IDU,

I hope you are doing okay today. It is hard to understand how anyone allows theirself to be caught up in an A. I still don't understand my W.

It is good that you have some support from the family. My in-laws seem to support her on the cheating. What do you think will happen when you go to the school board?

You have my support in this difficult time for you and your kids.

[idontunderstand]

I think introducing the OM around to friends and family is even more disrespectful than the affair in the first place...

I would have to agree. Just another reminder that WS don't think they are doing anything wrong.

I don't really expect any help from her family. I simply let them know that she was lying about things she had said that I have done and that I wanted to save the M. I couldn't make her try and neither could any of them. They all agreed they didn't want to see us break up, but when it comes right down to it, she is their daughter and sister.

Exposure and fear of loss are things she has not felt yet. I should have never let it go this long. The public exposure and embarrassment will be tough on her. Maybe the threat of it will be enough. Yeah, right. It needs to be done. I am simply telling the truth.