i didn't want to post this on the newcomers forum because i don't want to discourage others.
<brief moment of clarity> i read how other suggest that you should stand up for yourself and protect yourself financially.
it has been said that this will make the WAS see you in a different light. that you are not a doormat. they will see you in a more attractive light cuz you're standing up for yourself.
well i beg to differ.
in my sitch, i took a different route. i saw how fighting to protect myself financially drove a huge wedge between the two of us. h loved $$ more than our friendship. his friend advised him to be as generous as possible since he initiated it. h didn't listen and wanted to walk away with everything. he fought, and manipulated his way to get more. he plotted to get me out of the house so he can claim abandonment and that the house should all be his. i didn't leave. if i had agreed to taking a small compensation for leaving, would he have been happier? would our friendship have been saved? i'll never know now.
that's why i took a different approach to the house hold stuff. take it all if it makes you happy. and does it? i sure hope it does.
