I took an ICs name who a friend of mine met the other day. She told her what I am going through and she said to keep looking for an IC till I find someone that clicks. She said the wound is huge and I will need time and help to heal it.
H is leaving tommorow. I dont know if I want to go to Zurich anymore. Really. Not to spite him, I think it is like a ...bribe: "now after all the years you asked to join me, NOW I let you-."
He has been panicking today. Too many things to do and little time. I tried to be supportive but I think I sounded bored and detached. LIke "what do I care about your schedule?"
I sense I am playing with fire and I wil push him away eventually if I keep doing this. The thought alone, makes me sad. He used to be my favourite person in the world...
