You do have a choice in how you act, think, and feel. Yes, it hurts and you didn't want to be here. Stop playing the victim role and take charge of yourself. You are forgetting the other side of this - retain hope that you will prevail in the end.
she's dying a slow death.
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Change your thinking you change your emotions, change your emotions you change your actions (TEA). Lot of negative emotions in your writing - anger, fear, frustration, rage, despair.
who am i leaving all this money to? nobody. might as well spend it. new 180 #1: spend beyond your means. new 180 #2: what's the opposite of a good girl? drugs. tattoo (tramp stamp!). body piercings. new 180 #3: take up the offer for a drink from the old guy in room 202. maybe i'll get lucky.
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Learn what triggers your mind to start racing and stirring up the snakes. What's the cure for killing the snakes?
for the cure. see my new 180s.
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The rollercoaster goes both ways. This feeling is temporary.