I think I'll spend the afternoon fishing. I can imagine its him while I put the worms on the hook. Kickboxing, unfortunately, wouldn't work for a person with fibromyalgia. Well, it would until afterward, that is.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
That's a good song, Wifey. The words reminded me of another one of my favorites, by Amy Grant:
Hey Now Amy Grant
Hey now, I will be praying for you Hey now, you're gonna pray for me 'Cause what we have been through together Is changing us now, can change us forever Hey now, I'm gonna pray for you Hey now, you're gonna pray for me And it's gonna be different, yeah It's gonna be better, yeah It's gonna be Jesus and all of us in this together
Hey now, I'm gonna pray for you Hey now, you're gonna pray for me 'Cause what we have been through together Is changing us now, can change us forever Hey now, I'm gonna pray for you Hey now, you're gonna pray for me And it's gonna be different, yeah It's gonna be better, yeah It's gonna be Jesus and all of us in this together Hey! Hey! Hey! Now I'm gonna pray for you Hey now, you're gonna pray for me And it's gonna be different, yeah It's gonna be better, yeah It's gonna be Jesus and all of us in this together Hey! Hey! Hey! Now, Hey now, Hey now...
Hey! Hey! Hey! Now I'm gonna pray for you Hey now, you're gonna pray for me And it's gonna be different, yeah It's gonna be better, yeah It's gonna be Jesus and all of us in this together Hey! Hey! Hey! Now, Hey now, Hey now...
It may surprise you to find that I have given this serious thought...
I have already applied for two jobs in Key West. Both offer relocation expenses, so that would cover the move.
How am I doing so far?
This doesn't mean I've stopped crying, or hurting, or am even close. However, I think I can heal just as well on a Key West Beach as I can in the land of taxes and snow.
Actually not surprised - I thought you might be "there" but didn't want to presume. So, my answer is: You are doing amazing now, and you are going to do even better in the future!
Of course this is still tough, and you're going to have some rough days to get through - but don't kick yourself (or him, even) over what's in the past and how long it took to get to where you are now. Looking over your shoulder won't help you - focus your time, emotions, and energy on building a better future instead.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Last night I said to my H that you have a choice to make. Its very simple. You either want to try or we D. Deer in the headlights look.
It's out there. Its the elephant in the room.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Oh, and later I was invited for a motorcycle ride. He wanted to ride his motorcycle to work. We rode over in the car together and rode home on the cycle.
I thanked him for the ride and he said he was glad that I enjoyed it.
No other discussions the rest of the night.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Last night I said to my H that you have a choice to make. Its very simple. You either want to try or we D. Deer in the headlights look.
It's out there. Its the elephant in the room.
Nice job, Wifey. Do you have a plan in case he chooses the D option (i.e. atty lined up, etc.)?
Quote:
However, I think I can heal just as well on a Key West Beach as I can in the land of taxes and snow.
I am seriously considering this myself. It seems a lot of people from NE Ohio seem to migrate to the FL gulf coast. But SC keeps me within a day's driving distance of Ohio, so I'm debating where to go. I have a year to figure it out- D17 graduates next year. I'm enjoying these dreams of starting over somewhere new.
I have a plan Spybunny. My L knows what plan D is.
I have to tell you that Key West is very laid back. "No worries" is standard operating procedure. The key is to find a good job first. There are many that move first and then have to live farther up the keys and commute to the lower keys to work in order to afford to be there. There ARE good jobs, but you need to look and be proactive to find them.
And thank you, Greek. I am glad you approve. : )
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
One of my favorites is "Husband, let me ask you -- what are your intentions regarding this marriage?"
You might also get deer-in-the-headlights, but I think it forces him to be a little more specific than the "work at it" one. He may, for example, a month and a half from now, in his DAM-ness say "Well, six weeks ago, didn't I invite you for a motorcycle ride? Wasn't that 'working at our marriage'??"
" I have been doing some thinking and THIS is what I have decided. I have decided that I am not going to live this way anymore. I am filing for divorce."
You are still being weak when you ask them what their intentions are and when you tell them they have a choice to make. That STILL leaves it up to them and makes it still come across as you are just patiently waiting around. Don't do that anymore. It hasn't worked.
It IS NOT only his choice. Never has been. He has had more than enough time. It is time to take the choice out of HIS hands and tell him what choice YOU have made. Makes a total difference in what happens. Be decisive. Don't live this way. It really isn't worth it. Life is too short and waiting around for them to "decide" rarely, if ever works.
So, my answer is: You are doing amazing now, and you are going to do even better in the future!