Looking good Eric! As others said before...the chances you have established are monumental. Don't rest though.....find all that you are which is a continual process.
Lost - your back! I missed your insight! Yes, the changes are continual. At this point I am so introspective it's not funny. I may discontinue all conversations with everyone and keep it to just the various parts of me (little Eric, Big Eric, angry Eric) .
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Looking good Eric! As others said before...the chances you have established are monumental. Don't rest though.....find all that you are which is a continual process.
Alright guys...has been a very interesting day. I have had a few thoughts that I wanted to post.
1) Why am I willing to help W with the financial affidavit? 2) Why do I still fear some sorrow about the loss of my M? 3) When does the hurt really go away? 4) Why do some of her actions still annoy me? 5) Why am I so obsessed with my kids?
Just thoughts...
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
1) Why am I willing to help W with the financial affidavit?-Because you are a genuinely nice guy. There really is nothing wrong with that since it is who you are. The thing to beware is a lot of people will use this trait against you....and not just your wife.
2) Why do I still fear some sorrow about the loss of my M?-It is still too soon my friend....It will take time to heal.
3) When does the hurt really go away?-When you let it.
4) Why do some of her actions still annoy me?-LOL....You mean to tell me that actions of others doesn't annoy you? The annoyance of her actions will ebb like the tide. Sometimes nothing will bother you and other times everything will.
5) Why am I so obsessed with my kids? Because you are becoming the Father you wanted to be all along.
Have a great day Eric...I hear the weather is supposed to great up that way.
1) Why am I willing to help W with the financial affidavit?-Because you are a genuinely nice guy. There really is nothing wrong with that since it is who you are.
I still wonder if this is controling or enabling behavior. Why do I still feel obligated to help her when all she does is "kick me". Why? I keep searching for this answer. Is it that I am doing some to "repay" the errors that I made in the M? Who knows...who knows..
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It will take time to heal.
I understand this...I do. I just wish the pain and sorrow that I feel will go away. I understand that I need to feel it. I need to realize what the actions in the M caused. No I cannot dwell on it but I do need to feel it.
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When you let it.
Okay...maybe a stupid question but I wonder when will I let it. FTR, if you happen to have a pill or some meds for this let me know. We can probably market it. I would suggest that we hand it out free of charge.
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Because you are becoming the Father you wanted to be all along.
That I am my friend...that I am. I think I still may be overcompenstation and this is something I need to work on.
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I hear the weather is supposed to great up that way
Suppose to be 85 today. The top of the jeep is off and (Mach and Grit may appreciate this)....I'm wearing a soft pink shirt
Yesterday was an interesting day...W was off and still did not spend quality time with the kids. She was not home when they arrived from school. It still pisses me off that she is so damn selfish right now. So focused on HER needs. I know..I know..this means that I have still not detached enough. I need to continue to get to the point where her actions do not impact how I feel. I guess another way to look at it is that for years she was home with the kids - so I guess as she as said before "this is about me".
I find that I am still processing some of the anger. Still feel a little hurt. Still see the role I played in this but happy that at least I know that I am at WORK on ME.
Thanks for the response Lost.
Cat - your right...I still have "work to do".
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
The enabling/controlling discussion on that situation you mention is very hard to determine. A lot of really has to do with your reason. The line is thin, but there is a line to walk.
Let it go is almost magical to be honest....one day the pain is just gone. Hard to explain other than it happens when it is meant to happen and that is when you are ready for it. Some people never are and others never do though they will swear up and down they have. You will know it when it happens.....so just keep detaching.
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