Thank you everyone for the advice. And I agree 100%, to take this very cautiously.
H agreed to see my FT, whom I think is very good. I seen him myself last night and we discussed next weeks apt with my H. FT agreed that it is very important we do not make my H feel like he is being attacked. And he also mentioned letting my H open up about the control issues he has with me. Then he said almost exactly what you said Allen, it's all about “cooperation" and "negotiation”.
My FT biggest concern is that it doesn’t appear my H is ready to give up the OW. And with that, he is not sure any therapy will help us. He says I have to decide what my boundary is concerning the OW, and he will help me relay that to my H in non controlling way. He said it’s important that my H feel like it’s his choice to end that relationship or not but at the same time letting him know that I will not be in a marriage if he decides to keep contact with her.
With everything that happened the last couple of days. I know that my H is trying to manipulate me. When I finally stood up for myself and told him I was done, I know it scared him. And he is trying to manipulate me back into waiting for him.
Together 16 years Married 12 years Me 36 H 34 D9 & S6 Separated 12/3/09 Confirmed A 1/25/10 Exposed A 1/26/10 H hired L, but not filed yet 1/27/10
